SWIFT Ground Rules
Assume positive intent on the part of fellow participants. If a comment or question made seems inappropriate, it’s good to start your reaction with the assumption that the person saying it had good intent. We can check in with people, or with the speaker, to see if there has been a misunderstanding that way, rather than assuming ill will.
Seek to understand, then be understood. The first step is listening openly, without mentally preparing what you are going to say or points of dispute. Seek to understand them…then turn your attention to deciding what you want to say and how you want to be understood.
Let as many people as possible contribute before any one person speaks a second time.
Don’t be afraid of silence – some people need a longer pause before jumping into a conversation.
Respond to others with honest, open questions instead of counsel or corrections. In other words, resist the temptation to give advice (as hard as it is). And recognize that when you view something different than someone else, it may not be that they are incorrect. It may be that you simply share a different perspective or set of life experiences.
Respect others’ experiences and perspectives. Each of us is participating for various reasons, and we each have different backgrounds and experiences. When others choose to share these experiences, treat their ideas and shared stories with respect.
Speak from personal experience, rather than generalizing.
Similarly, be aware of and try to avoid stereotyping or grouping individuals. Speaking from individual experiences can help and will provide concrete examples.
Stories are complex and evolve. You choose how much to share, and you may not share your full story. Never assume what someone else says is everything that is going on.
Maintain people’s confidentiality. In other words, do not discuss other’s personal experiences outside of the meeting. But, please do share what you are learning about these concepts and strategies with other women who might be interested! And of course, you could share your own experience with others — you own that!